How To Build An Ugly Home Theater System
December 2nd, 2008

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Unless you are a real fan of technology, all of those black boxes and wires can be something less than attractive. In fact, one of the ugliest possible things a person can put together is a high quality home theater system. A home theater may bring home some awesome visuals when everyone gathers around in a dark room to watch a high-powered movie, but by daylight, it can be an eyesore.

D you wonder how you can make your home theater as ugly as possible? Follow these simple directives and you are guaranteed to have a truly unattractive system. All it takes is a little work (and a little more refusal to work) and you can have an obnoxious home theater system that pleases the senses when on and assaults them when off.

First, show those wires and cables! Nothing says tacky more clearly than a tangle of visible wires! Let those speaker wires snake right across your floor where everyone can see them! That batch of cables hanging from the back of the components? Do not make any effort to disguise those, either.

Some may try to sell you on wireless systems that eliminate the need for speaker cables altogether. Others may recognize easily hideable flat cables or give you suggestions for running the wires unobtrusively. Do not go with these options if you are looking for a truly ugly home theater. Of course, stay away from entertainment centers that allow that wiring to disappear behind them, too!

Second, make sure size always wins out over substance. Nothing makes a less attractive centerpiece to a room than a giant subwoofer, and a pair of six-foot tall speakers against the back walls is particularly offensive to the eyes. Big, bulky components are the way to go and they should not be matched if you are aiming for hideous. If your system is sleek, compact or features elements of good design, you are not going to be able to claim the ugliest home theater award any time soon.

Do not even consider the smaller speakers based on newer technological advances that deliver sound as effectively as the behemoths! This will only make the system potentially less hideous. You can also resist buying matching components or newer ones with an attractive design. Big cubes in contrasting colors insure an ugly display.

Third, milk crates are fine. You have put your home theater somewhere right? How about on some overturned milk crates. If you are feeling constructive, consider some plywood planks and cinder blocks. These two methods will help your system scream "dorm room" and will assault the senses of every guest to walk through the door.

Do not look at great home entertainment systems or other attractive furnishings that are specifically designed with the goal of bringing a home theater system unobtrusively into the living room. Your ugly system should not be hidden by a nice hutch or home entertainment system!

Finally, remember that there is no less attractive home accent than a remote control. Make sure you litter the room with remotes, the way some homemakers do with throw pillows. These little handheld pieces of ugliness can really influence the way your room looks and give your tacky system a little extra "oomph."

There will probably be someone, somewhere along the line, who will mention universal remotes to you. He or she will tell you just how handy and easy it is to control all aspects of your home theater system with one simple controller. Although that might sound like fun, remember that fewer remote controls make for a better-looking home theater system. If your goal is an ugly rig, there is no place for a universal remote controller.

Follow those tips and you can be sure to have an incredibly ugly home theater system that will make other raise an eyebrow or two. Sure, there will be plenty of beauty once the screen lights up a dark room and the film begins, but in the meantime, your home theater can be a real design disaster

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