Romance Mistakes
December 4th, 2008

Being romantic is wonderful, fun and especially rewarding but unfortunately, many people make mistakes we all make in relationships that can simply undo all of the good that has been done by romantic efforts. For instance, every couple has disagreements and upon occasion the argument has a definitive outcome. The spouse that was right during the argument has two choices when 'winning'- he or she can not see it as winning and simply move on or express understanding as to why there may have been some confusion. Or, he or she can gloat and make their spouse feel inferior and possibly humiliated. One works (the moving on one...) and one doesn't (the gloating one).

Conflict is often unavoidable when two people from two different backgrounds with different beliefs are brought together. If you happen to be the one in a disagreement who doesn't come out as the 'right' one or you don't get your way, the worst thing you can do is to pout. It's simply childish, not sexy at all and your partner will most likely have a difficult time finding respect for you as a result.

While worry is a natural part of life, try not to let it overwhelm your relationship. Wouldn't your rather focus on much more positive things like romance? If you find that you and your spouse schedule a lot during the week, sit down and try to eliminate some commitments. Don't over-schedule any time that you don't have to, including vacations and weekends.

Make choices that benefit both you and your spouse. Instead of turning on the television, ask your wife or husband if they would like to play a board game or go for a walk. If you decide to watch television together, never guess at the plot or give away the ending of a movie! Try to support your spouse's authority in front of the children. If you disagree about what was done, wait until you can talk quietly with your spouse and discuss why and how things may have been done differently. He or she can always go back and change their mind or you may eventually come to support his or her decisions.

Make as much as possible in your relationship about 'us' instead of about 'you'. This doesn't mean that you or your spouse has to sacrifice his or her individuality, it simply means that all decisions and thoughts about the relationship should be about both needs instead of your own individual needs. For instance, if you happen to be or sleep with someone who 'hogs' the bed covers go out and find an extra, extra large blanket so that there's plenty for both to share. Don't make an issue out of it- make a joke and provide a solution.

Show your spouse that you are a loving and mature individual by doing mature and loving things like never holding grudges or continuously bringing up errors from the past. You can also be a good listener, never interrupt and wait your turn. And most importantly, don't allow a day to pass by without telling your spouse that you love them

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